8 Surefire Ways To Help Your Kids Embrace A Big Change – Moving Far Away

When a family makes any major changes in their life, it can take some adjusting for everyone involved. There are some big ticket changes – like moving schools, house or even to a new State or Region.

The mother of all in my opinion is moving countries! What could be bigger right?   

When kids experience change, it can take a harder toll on them than on adults. This is because kids find security in routine and familiarity, which represents stability in their life.

When my husband Alex and I first moved countries from Kenya to Australia in 2017, our kids were relatively young and less susceptible to the emotional rollercoaster that could come with such a huge change. Our sons were 8 and a half and 6 years old respectively and our daughter just about to turn 4.

It was all a big adventure back then! We had travelled a fair bit with them on family holidays: Cyprus, Hong Kong, Dubai, Cape Town, Durban…. so in their minds, we were just going away for another holiday… we just wouldn’t pack our suitcases again to get back home like before.

It’s 2022 and we’re moving countries again, from Australia to Saudi Arabia, but this time the kids are of course older (14, 11 & 8) and very aware of the potential implications this huge change will have on them and on our family.

If you’re considering a major move like we did, you can help your children adjust well to the idea and show them how to cope with the upheaval. The goal will be to eliminate any apprehension and calm any fears from the onset and on an ongoing basis.

Here are some great tips that could make all the difference for your family:

1. Take Your Kids’ Views Into Consideration.

Your kids may or may not be excited about a move. Find out through conversations how you child feels about the move. While the parents make the ultimate decisions for the best of family, your kids need to feel like their opinion matters and that they’re an important part of the decision-making process too. No one likes to feel like they are powerless so make sure to include them.

I got my kids to draw up a pros and cons list about our move to Saudi Arabia and while the cons were much longer than the pros, they felt that their opinions mattered because we talked about them as often as they wanted to.

2. Discuss Their Fears And Emotions.

Even kids that are excited about moving may have fears and other negative emotions as the date draws closer. Talk these emotions through with your kids. They need to know that what they’re feeling is completely normal and that everyone feels a little apprehension when a big change is coming up, even Mum and Dad.

In our family, we discuss our fears, concerns and feelings around the family meal times because we have each other’s undivided attention and it’s around a pleasurable activity – eating! Alot comes up during the school run too, because their friends will ask them questions at school and they in turn have conversations in the car.

3. Talk About Leaving Friends.

It’s fair to say that friends is the biggest concern kids will have about a move. They will understandably be sad or mad about the friends they’re leaving behind.

Let them know how easy it is to keep up the lines of communication. Just because they won’t physically see their friends all the time doesn’t mean they won’t keep in touch through the age-appropriate social media they have access to – Instagram and all the rest like video chats or phone calls.

Show empathy. When I did this with my kids, I told them how lucky they are to have these options these days, unlike when I was growing up. Needless to say, that only served to remind them how ‘ancient’ I was and how hard it must have been in the times I grew up in (roll eyes!)

4. Share The Timeframe.

Go over each step of the way as you prepare for the big move. We have a little file with the Process Flowchart that my husband’s Saudi hiring company had provided to guide us through the onboarding process, from visa application to confirmation to flight bookings. We’d tick off each stage together.

If they know what the next steps are, it won’t be as much of a shock when the big day arrives. No surprises per se.

5. Describe The New Place.

Discuss as a family where you’ll be living and how your new home will be – country, climate, culture and so forth. Since it’s further away, chances are that it has a different climate and a whole new lifestyle for the kids. Focus on the exciting new opportunities and the fun experiences. Do what you can to get the kids excited about their new home.

For our Saudi Arabia move, we looked at potential accommodation for our family that the company provides as well as school options. This helped form a picture in the kids’ minds about the environment we are going into. When it was time to choose our house, and as their Dad was already in Saudi Arabia before us, he took pictures and lots of videos so the kids could form a picture in their heads and come to terms about the move when it became real.

6. Take A Fam Trip

If possible, take a familiarization trip with the kids to their new home in advance of the moving date. In most cases, this is not practical nor possible to do with the kids.

Before we moved from Kenya to Australia, my husband and I did a fam trip to Australia 4 months before the big move but without the kids. This helped us get familiar with the city we were moving to, so that when we moved with the kids, Mum and Dad looked like they knew what they were doing (one hopes)! We visualized our family’s new life and made the transition as seamless as we could for the kids.

7. Provide Assurances As Much As Possible.  

Discuss some of the things that won’t be changing about your family. This will give your kids a sense of security. For example, explain how your love is constant and how that’ll never change no matter what.

Our kids expressed their concern about who would be picking them up and dropping them off at school because I always do that. Our assurance was, apart from the environment, everything else remains the same in our home, such as family movie nights, eating out, hanging out.

8. Plan A Visit Back.

If feasible for your family, plan a visit back to your old house after you’ve moved. Your kids will be excited knowing that they can visit their old friends and old familiar places, rather than just completely leaving their old life behind.

Conclusion

In my experience, to make the transition as smooth as possible, it’s important to get the kids excited about all the new opportunities that await your family.

Focus on the positives. Don’t ignore the negatives but at least discuss these and provide as many assurances as you can without stretching the truth or reality.

Moving far away inherently comes with a multitude of challenges. I hope these tips are helpful in helping you ease your kids’ minds so they can embrace the big change to the best of their abilities. Good luck and Godspeed.

Let me know in the comments below what your biggest huddle with moving or potentially moving has been. I love to hear your insights and experiences. Thanks for reading!